The Missing Part

For couple times, I thought it wouldn’t be this significant. All I ever did was to look at it as a reasonable point for us as human, that it was just one less thing we couldn’t have. Beside all other less things I saw or felt, though, I’ve been working on it for so long. I took a chance to face the risk not to be able filling the blank between you and I, I made a decision based on fact that we still wanted it to go on, and I kept a thinking which led me into these days we’ve been counting that we’re still together in it. Never occured in my mind that I needed a romance that was shown up anywhere, both direct and indirect ways. I never got a slightest idea how to make things became inspirational for both of us, or have I just been making a tale that we’ve been inspired by each other, while we’re not?
Here’s the point, we’re not inspiring each other and we’re not compiling anything into a beautiful works dedicated to you as a self that fill my blank, and so am I to you. You and I have been keeping this tale about doing wonderful things together, but it’s not because we want it for us, in the contrary, it’s just because you want to do it like I want it too. We’ve been separated in wanting same things to be happened and done for our ownself. You may not see it as a big issue for what we’re having here, but for me, this way of seeing keeps us apart and it’ll be further each day forward.
I’m feeling it, the missing part of us. Literally, you are always be there for me whenever I want you to, whenever I need you to, whenever I’d love you to, and whenever it is. You are the greatest man in showing a deepest love to me, more than any man before. You are the man who always support in whatever I’m doing, to company me, to listen what I need to say, and to all things you want to do as long as it makes me relieved. At this point, I learned a lot from you about how I should let myself out for other people, especially the closest people whom I love. I’m not talking about how great or how bad the love we got in this, all I’m trying to say here is just at some parts, we are still the two missing pieces of puzzle that are trying to figure how to make it into a whole frame.
Well, honey, this is the missing part we’ve been having for this year: you haven’t been able to see a beauty, yet inspiration in me, while I haven’t too. Likely two musician who’s working on the same music and songs to make an album debut, you and I are the failed one. We haven’t composed any harmony that is decent to be heard by the universe. In ironic way of feeling, it hurts more than not having you as a lover.***

Bandung, 16/03/10

Comments

  1. Aprizya19 March 2010 at 12:15

    it's a good thing that you aware of this missing part cause there's a lot of people continuing their relationship with this silence about what deep down each other feels.

    actually i just talked about this kind of situation with my bf last night. it's that words that either of us didn't say it to each other is the real issue, that we should notice that later there's time when this "whispered words" will stab us in the back.

    me and my bf conclude that this is the major issue in any relationship. sometimes when we trying to be honest to each other there's still a brutal truth that we kept it for ourself with the intention of keeping our partners feelings. but the truth here, we keep it to protect ours.

    yes, it takes a big courage to face ourself, to understand what we really feels and what we really need. then for you darling, remember this: if you're not in love with yourself then don't you dare to falling in love with other.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown19 March 2010 at 15:27

    cya: yes, and i'm not capable to think the way out now. All I need is just a space. Positively, I still wait and see the progress.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aprizya19 March 2010 at 16:20

    give yourself a credit :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown20 March 2010 at 06:09

    I am giving it to myself ci...and now I need to break myself out from this 'benangkusutsemrawut otak gw'

    ReplyDelete

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